The Retarded World of Gumball
by Fanficsfromhell
Summary: First, Gumball does some stupid shit. Then he does some more stupid shit. Finally, the stupid shit is done.


** It was a normal Friday in the town of Elmore, shitty as always. Gumball and Darwin were in Ms. Simian's class, probably their only class, and Gumball was bored as fuck. Ms. Simian was telling the class about giraffes and Gumball was drawing dicks in his textbook.**

** "Okay, class, can somebody tell me the number of legs giraffes have? How about... Gumball?" said Ms. Simian.**

** Gumball's face turned red. Darwin leaned over and whispered, "It's 76." into Gumball's ear. Gumball gave Darwin the thumbs-up sign and proudly answered, "It's seventy-six." Penny giggled.**

** "Giraffes have... 76 legs? Gumball, that is literally the easiest question I've asked all month and you got it wrong. Come up here with me, please." said Ms. Simian. She was obviously unamused. "Have you no respect for learning?"**

** Darwin muttered, "Retard.." and snickered.**

** Gumball said, "No, Ms. Simian. I'll show you exactly how much I care about learning." So Gumball stood on his chair, unzipped his fly, and took out his dick. He pissed on his textbooks. He pulled his pants all the way down and took a shit on the textbooks, and then took out a match and burned them. He pulled his pants up and smirked at the teacher.**

** "Gumball.. get off of your desk... put out the fire... you are going to THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! NOW!" screeched Ms. Simian. Gumball flipped his teacher the bird as he walked to Principal Brown's.**

** When he was there, he had the perfect plan to start some shit. He put something shiny in his backpack and loudly scooted his chair forward. Principal Brown lit a joint.**

** "Gumball, can you explain what happened in class today?" Principal Brown said.**

** "Well, I drew a penis in my stupid-ass textbooks, slept in class, my faggot brother embarrassed me in front of the skank I'm trying to hook up with, I went to the bathroom, and now here I am. In your office."**

** "I don't give two shits, but Ms. Simian says I have to punish you." Mr. Brown shoved some paper towels and Windex at Gumball. "Go clean the windows or something."**

** Gumball walked out with a smile on his face. Principal Brown didn't piss him off, so... It was time to put Plan B into action! He wadded up a ball of paper towels, took out the shiny object from his backpack which appeared to be a knife, and kept the Windex in handy. He walked to Ms. Simian's like a badass... wannabe.**

** When Gumball reached his teacher's door, he attempted to break it down with his foot. Instead, he sprained his ankle and whimpered like a pussy. He threw the door out of his way and it slammed shut. "You motherfuckas better not tell the cops about this shit!" shouted Gumball.**

** "Gumball, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOI-" Ms. Simian began. She couldn't finish her sentence, due to Gumball squirting Windex in her eyes as a mace alternative. Ms. Simian screamed in agony. Gumball began to smother her with the paper towel. He cut her arms and legs off, and let her suffer as long as possible before slitting her throat. Once she was dead, Gumball heard slow clapping behind him. It grew louder and louder until the whole class applauding and cheering for him. Principal Brown walked in and sighed, "Finally! I don't have to deal with that bitch anymore! And I can do what I want to her now."**

** With that, Principal Brown ripped off his lover's corpse's blouse and underwear, exposing her wrinkly ass. Principal Brown got an erection and fucked the dead body. Everyone was disgusted and looked away except for that pervert Tobias. He was masturbating to the utterly wrong couple. That clean-freak Terri felt so nauseous she vomited. She choked to death on her own vomit and her ghost cleaned up the remains.**

**Tobias was so horny that he joined Principal Brown for a threesome. The two faggots started making out on the floor. Suddenly the bell rang and school was over. **

** As Gumball left Elmore Junior High, Penny ran up to him with a surprise. "Hey, Gumball! I just bought some clothes at Victoria's Secret, and I need somebody to **be my fashion judge! Care to go to my place?" she said seductively.

"Hell yeah. Oh, and Penny? Are your pants made of mirrors? Well, I can see myself in 'em." Gumball said with a stupid smirk on his face.

"That is one of the worst pick-up lines I've heard in my life," Penny replied, "but who gives a shit? My place or yours? Ah, fuck it. I'll just go to your place. If my dad saw us, he'd choke you."

"Shit. But maybe I could just swim or something? In your pool?" said Gumball. "Never mind, your dad gets pissed at everything."

Penny got a phone call. She put her phone on speaker: It was her dad. "Penny, where the fuck are you? Mr. Robinson is on crack and he won't leave our house! Get rid of him for me!

"Ok, daddy! Coming!" she replied. "See you, Gumball." Penny winked and ran off for home. Gumball went home, and for the first time in forever, with no homework to do. He was going to eat chips and ice cream, and play all the video games he had.

"Hey, fuckface!" shouted Darwin when Gumball came through the door. "I saw everything!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" said Gumball, with a creeped-out look on his face.

"Gumball, you're trying to bang that whore Penny. I know. You don't have to tell me. Dude, she's a PEANUT, and she's not even cute. She looks like a cow, and you should be ashamed. So enjoy going out with that goblin, Gumball. Don't cry to me when she turns you to stone when you look at her." explained Darwin.

"She's not Medusa, dickhead! I only like her because she's popular!" said Gumball.


End file.
